No matter how nice they try to make 'em, nursing homes are tough. And this is a nice one... but my Mother is totally dependent on the folks here for every need. She had some physical therapy and occupational therapy today. I had to ask what kind of job she'd be looking for when she gets out (occupational... get it?) At almost 90, she sees it as a nearly impossible task... I keep telling her "one step at a time"... and she reminds me, "I can't STEP!" So, right now, my occupation is cheerleader.
And "tough love administrator." At one point, she said to me, "Get me a Kleenex." It was tough to do it, but I said, "It's right behind you. Turn your chair around and get it yourself. There's nothing wrong with your arms."
After the initial shock, then anger, she came to realize that I was just trying to show her what she CAN do, instead of what she can't. Still, it makes me feel like a meanie.
I have to keep encouraging and reminding that she is here for the "rehabilitation," not as a place to spend the rest of her days. So, now when family and friends call to check on her, I tell them about "Mom's rehab." "Yep, she and Lindsay Lohan... one day at a time."
Sitting with the little old ladies at the meal table, I can't help but feel like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Coo-Coo's Nest"... just hope we can all make it through this without a frontal lobotomy.
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2 comments:
We went through this with my mother-in-law 6 years ago when she had a stroke the night Hurricane Charley came very close to us in Naples. She spent several weeks in rehab learning to walk and swallow food. She survived and so did we and now at age 91 she is still going strong! She has to climb up and down a long flight of stairs to get in and out of their 2nd floor condo and she does it without a hitch! God bless your mother and we are praying for her full recovery.
Bill and Linda
Thank you for those encouraging words, Bill and Linda. It is tough seeing the loss of independence. We dealt with a similar situation with my wife's Mother a few years ago, and she was stronger when she got out of the rehab facility than she had been for the previous decade. We'll continue to encourage and appreciate your kind words.
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