Black Friday...

Hype. I saw on the news that 1 in 4 Americans will be out early on Black Friday. Really? 1 in 4? I have never participated in that madness. Last night, Joan and Steph made plans to hit the sales early... they are on a mission to get the most for the buck for the kids on the Angel Tree. I can't believe I let them talk me into this...

At 3:30 am, Joan was up showering. I figured brushing my teeth would be enough, 'cause I have no doubt many of the early shoppers will have passed on even that. Shortly after 4:00, Steph and Dan came by to pick us up. I fed little Izzy just before heading out... she staggered out with her eyes half closed, "What are you people doing??" Smart cat.

First stop: Wal-Mart. Are you kidding me? The parking lot is packed! Apparently those 1 in 4 Americans all came to this particular store. When we went inside, it didn't look like a shopping event, it looked more like a looting! People were running about, grabbing stuff haphazardly, clothing and food stuff was laying in the aisles, people had that crazed look in their eyes. And then, the lines... there was a line with at least 400 people in it running through the produce section... big sale on bananas??? No, I asked and was told, "That's where the line forms for the big sale on TVs."

Of course, that makes perfect sense: let people go all the way to the back of the store to get to electronics, where the big sale item WON'T be, then send them to the produce department. And people were putting up with this crap! Close to 5:00, a store employee let people in the back 4/5 of the line know that they were out of the TVs... I heard one guy say to his wife, "Let's get something else - I'm not leaving here empty-handed!" That attitude has to be good for sales. I get it; I got up this early and wandered into this mad-house, I should get something to show for my stupidity!

From there, we moved on to Kohls. As we drove into the parking lot, I saw that there were people standing in line at the JoAnn's Fabric store next door. Standing in line to buy fabric? At Oh-dark:30? The lines in Kohls were even worse than Wal-Mart; may have something to do with the fact that they had only two check out lanes open... and the line to PAY wound around 3/4 of the store! Yes, really. We walked back to the furthest corner to get to the toys... I saw people in line to pay who had a sheet. Yes, a bed sheet. One guy had two pillows. These crazy-ass people got up in the middle of the night to buy a sheet or pillows? And then were willing to stand in line for hours to pay for them? I wouldn't stand in line for hours even if the sheets were FREE!

I guess I don't have the Christmas shopping spirit. Or maybe I don't understand the big fun in standing in line in the cold to get into a store, then fighting mobs to get this season's big deal, then standing in line for hours to pay for whatever that big deal was.

I voted for the next destination: Waffle House. No line there. On the way, we drove by the traffic jam in front of Best Buy. If you have to have police directing traffic in front of the place, what must it be like IN the place? On the bright side, we didn't have to wait at Waffle House... but I had to listen to the waitress talk about the crowds at Best Buy.

With our bellies full, it was off to Sam's Club. Apparently, we were late for the melee here - we found a parking place near the door. Steph and Dan found something they couldn't live without, and there were virtually no lines at the check-out. "You shoulda been here earlier," the checker said. Glad I missed it.

Apparently, my "You Have To Be Kidding Me?" outbursts were putting a damper on the shopping festivities. I was told we'd only be a couple hours at JC Penney's for the next round. I suggested that Dan drop the girls off by the door... and then drop me off back with Izzy at the RV park. No protests; in fact, it was universally accepted. Perhaps I tossed out one too many, "Bah - Humbug"s? Maybe it was the, "Two pillows? Are you serious?" comment to the guy in Kohls? No matter, I consider it time off for (slightly less than) good behavior.

Just before 11:00, I got a call from Joan, asking me if I wanted to join them for lunch. Izzy and I were in the middle of a good nap on the couch, but it was time for turkey sandwiches. I may be forgiven my shopping extravaganza faux pas if I'm willing to put in more time wrapping presents.

'Tis the season.

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On edit: The Angel Tree shopping is done. Joan and Steph are amazing; Joan's organization and prep combined with Steph's style and shopping ability got them through everything on their list. On the busiest shopping day of the year. And Dan is to be commended for his patience and strong back in carrying all the packages. Fa la la la la.