Friday, August 3, 2018

Oh, the humanity!


Let me start this post with a well-known statement: I really don't like yardwork.

When we came back to our site yesterday, it was a crime scene: we were quickly able to determine a bird had been murdered here.  Well, looking at the amount of feathers (picture the aftermath of every teen movie where two girls are having a pillow fight), it may have been a whole family of birds.

I have watched a few CSI episodes, so I know how to sleuth.  You could say I am an amateur sleuther... although I don't know why you'd say that.  Studying the crime scene: hmmm, feathers scattered over a wide area, freshly mowed grass, clumps of grass that appear to have fallen out of a large lawn mower, feathers and freshly cut grass intermixed.  By jove (and how often do you get to say "by jove"??), I do believe a bird was run over by the lawn mowing crew.

They made no attempt to cover their bird massacre.  Could have been an industrial accident, but more likely a hit on a bird who may have shat upon their RV.  See where sleuthing can lead?  Seems that the authorities are not interested in this felonious assault with a mower... in fact, there is no "code" for this (as in: "Car 54, there is a 2-11 in progress at...").

It was likewise obvious that the assailants weren't coming back to clean up after themselves.  One of us, and I won't mention her name, was grossed out by the murder scene, visible every time we would come or go from the motorhome.  So, this morning, I went down to Maintenance here to see if I could borrow a rake.  The nice lady at the Maintenance desk said, "Ewwwww - take the rake - take it!" when I explained what I wanted it for.  Obviously covering for her groundskeeping associates, she said, "I'm sure the bird was already dead..."

I'm not so sure.

Nothing left to do but clean up the scene.  Yes, I am a sleuther and a "cleaner"... if you are unsure of the slang meaning for "cleaner": a member of a crime organization or a covert government agency, who disposes of a corpse after a hit.

Maybe I have been watching too much CSI?


No photos.  No none wants to see a mangled bird with a chalk outline drawn around it.  I'm kidding, I'm kidding... there wasn't enough left for a chalk outline.

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