Kindness and improvement...

The doctor gave me no hope this morning. He said that my Mother has no chance of recovery, she will continue to fail, he is not recommending any further therapy, and I should put her where she will "have peace." Then, he said the nursing home will talk to me about hospice.

Not what you want to hear first thing in the morning. Mom showed every indication of proving him correct. I made the decision and arrangements with a nursing home. There were a lot of tears.

Later in the afternoon, I took our daughter to the airport, after she had a chance to say good-bye to her Grandmother. Emotional doesn't begin to describe the situation. I asked the nurse if she would let me feed Mom when I got back, knowing that it might be a few minutes after her scheduled dinner time. I hurried back to her room (they moved her out of the stroke unit and into a regular room); when I came in, she looked at me and said, "I'm hungry." I got her meal (that the nurses were holding for me), and Mom ate it... being fed, but able to swallow. The swallowing is a very big deal. She ate the whole meal - a first since the stroke. Her eyes were bright, she was conversational. Family came to visit, and she engaged them.

She went from looking like she wasn't long for this world this morning to something close to chipper this afternoon. I was stunned... and hopeful. When I was done feeding her, I realized that I hadn't eaten since this morning... I was going to go to the hospital cafeteria and then realized that it was after 7:00 - they were closed. A niece asked if she could go get me something, but I said I'd pick up a sandwich later. A few moments later, one of Mom's nurses brought me in a food tray. I felt the tears welling up. All that these folks deal with on a daily basis, and they still have that kind of concern within. When she opened up the tray and I could smell the food, I realized how hunger I was, too. While Mom visited with the relatives, I ate... ate like I haven't since I got the call in the middle of the night.

When I went out to the nurses station to thank them again, one of them said to me, "I felt bad for you. I've seen you here day and night, you're always encouraging your Mother. You needed a good meal." And, it was good.

When the visitors all left, I was about to cash it in when that nurse came in to do another neurological test with Mom. I asked if I could stay to see if there was any change. Towards the end of the exam, when she asked Mom to try to move her left leg, there was a tremor... then a muscle flex at the knee... and a wiggle at the ankle. The nurse looked at me and said, "Did you see that?"

Yes, I did. She won't dance, but there is hope for improvement, and reason to try therapy. I know there will be days of ups and downs, and we sure aren't out of the woods. But, that doctor was wrong - there is hope.