A flair for decorating...

Oh, it may be the way I put together my ensemble each day... the way my name badge asymmetrically opposes the embroidery of the company logo on my shirt... or the fact that my socks often match.  I got a call yesterday morning from my lovely wife (who was already at work): "Can you come in early?"

"Do you have a charter for me?"

"No, Colleen (the boss) wants the boat decorated for the holiday and a special charter (political fund-raiser) this evening."  And then, the proud fact that my fine taste was being recognized was dashed when she said, "Everyone else is busy."

When I got there, I was given two large bins of new Red, White, & Blue decorations (most not made in the US), with the careful instructions: "Put up as much of this stuff as you can, but make it tasteful."  (Ah, they were aware of my talents!)

I'm not sure she got the humor when I said, "I am a student of the Clark Griswold School of Decorating."

It is interesting how few tape adhesive products stick to the textured gelcoat interior walls.  I hung big red, white, & blue bows from hand-rails.  Tie-wrapped cloth red, white, & blue "skirts" on exterior rails.  Put twisting wind-socks on the aft cover supports.  And barely made a dent in the contents of the two bins.  I couldn't get the red, white, & blue twinkle lights to stay in place without drilling holes... "Oh, no holes!"  I summarily dismissed the many rolls of crepe paper (Do you really want the place to look like a prom from the 70s??").

Oh, I knew that I would be ridiculed by the other captains when they showed up.  Yep, "What the hell is this?  You think that stuff is going to stay on when we're running at 17 knots?"

The captain that was running the other boat laughed and said, "Well, at least it's not on this boat!"

"That one is next!" I said.  Well, I wasn't given any instructions to put decorations on that boat, but I took it as "decorator's discretion," and hung a couple cloth table skirts and bows. 

The decorations held while we ran north into Canadian waters to get a great view of the whales.  We were back to the dock with just enough time to clean up the boat.  My services weren't needed for the "special charter" that evening... imagine my disappointment when I saw the huge platters of food being carried onboard.  I helped carry some of the platters, hoping to snag a tasty morsel when no one was looking... didn't happen.

The captain driving that charter said to me, "I think we're going to get out of here late."

I said, "Have you ever had a VIP charter that left on schedule?"  We both shook our head.

I took my stuff off the boat, and headed home to our boat.  Just over 6.5 hours today (including a good 90 minutes of decorating), and my butt was dragging.   It makes me wonder how I did 13 hour days the last two summers.  On the walk down the dock, I passed two young guys who are captains on other boats... they said, "Hey, Captain Jim.  Good day out there today, huh?  We have the night off, and we're going bowling - want to join us?"

I thanked them for the invite, but told them there was a Blonde and an adult beverage waiting for me at our boat.  Somehow that seemed better than telling them how tired I was from all the decorating. ;-)