P here...

Well, maybe that should read: pee in cup.  We are part of a consortium which conducts random drug testing for those who work on boats.  Today, Joan and I drew the lucky straws.  I've often said, "We do everything together."  With previous jobs, I feel I got picked so often because they knew I'd be clean... this seems to be a pretty clean-living crew we have here.

So, off to the clinic.  After doing a bunch of paperwork, I said, "I'm an old guy, and I have to go pretty soon."

"OK, you'll go first.  We don't want to see you doing the 'potty dance' in the waiting room."

Not my first bar-b-q. ;-)

I don't consider myself a germ-o-phobe, but I've always felt that hospitals, clinics, and doctors' offices are where sick people go... I try my best to get in and out as quickly as possible.  Of course, there was a kid sitting in the waiting area with red welts all over his face... no doubt he has some never before seen illness that causes red welts on kids and severe incontinence on old guys.

Once beyond the waiting room, the nurse said, "I see you've done this before," as I started emptying my pockets.  "Pee in the cup, don't flush, we only need to this line."

"I am an over-achiever," I told her.

I filled the cup nearly to the brim, then watched and initialed that it was, indeed, my pee.  As she poured it into the tubes, I asked, "Do you have to do that right over my stuff?"

She smiled and said, "I have good aim.  You have a good sense of humor."  She went on to tell me about truckers who have tried "every trick in the book."

I stepped out and waited for Joan to make her contribution.  Then back to the boat to get our stuff and head to work.

Did I mention what a glamorous job this is?