Front End/Back End...

 

Is this going to be another TMI post, Jim?  No, but thanks for asking.

When Steph was younger and we had Smoke the cat, Steph was supposed to take care of feeding and litter cleaning.  When she went off to college and Joan and I took over the care of Smoke, we made an agreement: she would take care of the "back end" (litter duty), and I would handle the "front end" (feeding).  And that's how we have done things with every cat since that time.

I know what you're thinking: "Sounds like Joan got the crappy (pun intended) end of that deal."  Au contraire... little clean-up is generally once per day.  Ever since we got Izzy, who was in need of extra care early on, our cats have gotten 4 meals per day.  Smaller meals, but that is 4 tasks for the "front end" person.  So, it all balances out.

Our female cats were all petite poopers.  When we first got Rufus (the first male in the family besides me) I remember looking in the litter box after we first got him, and asking Joan: "Did we get a pony?!"  The boy pooped big.  Murphy has been carrying on that tradition.  Murphy is not as big as Rufus, but you wouldn't know that from the poops.  OK, this may be bordering on TMI.  But, I digress.

Now, I have to go back 50 years or so.  When Steph was tiny, Joan would go to work before me.  I firmly believe that those two had an arrangement: "Don't poop your pants until just after I go out the door."  That left me to clean up her poopy pants before taking Steph to Joan's Dad (who watched her while we were working).  Every.  Stinkin'.  Day.  And I swear Joan fed the kid chili at night before going to bed.  Prior to having a kid, nothing can prepare you for that smell.

Back to the present: Joan was heading off to the store while I was still cleaning up.  I came out of the bathroom and got slapped up alongside the head (nose?) by a gawd-awful smell.  Yes, Murphy had just dropped a steamin' load in his litter box.  Seconds after Joan went out the door.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Now, I could have just held my nose, got dressed, and gone on with the garbage and recycle duty I had been assigned in Joan's absence.  But, no... being the gentleman and good cat Dad that I am, I went to do my first time with this litter box.  (For the record: I pick up Murph's outdoor poops, and he really likes to poop outside... and no, I don't know why that is my job??... yeah, TMI.)  I do not like this litter box or the litter - it is "disguised" as a large planter.  The pooping happens by accessing an opening in the back side of the planter, where the litter box resides.  Joan and I have discussed this litter: I like the Breeze System, where the poop resides on top of pellets that dehydrate it.  But, no, this is some kind of wood(ish) based litter that someone (not me) thinks does a better job of eliminating the smell.  Sticking my head in that opening to the litter area, I can guarantee you, that it does NOT.  I have not retched like that since my every-morning routine of cleaning the drippity-shits off our kid.  I persevered and got every last stink bomb so Joan wouldn't have to deal with it later.  Because... I am a good guy.

After the offensive, foul aroma...

Look at that sweet face.  You'd never know how he schemes with his Mother.