I used to be a professional photographer...

Well, yeah... I was... for 32 years.

BUT...

I hear this all the time.  It seems that everyone who ever owned a camera was... "a professional photographer."  But, what I heard today was that "last straw."

I am phone shopping.  It's time.  Apparently Verizon has something in their system that causes their phones to self-destruct every 23 1/2 months.  I am now on month 25 with my Droid Bionic, and know I am on borrowed time.  The back of the phone has started to bulge.  Common wisdom would tell you the battery is about to explode.  I think there is a Verizon alien in there, waiting for the perfect moment to burst out and eat my face.  Either way, I'm not opening the phone to find out.

You may be aware that I am an Apple fan.  Not a "fan boi", since I am the only one in the family who doesn't have an iPhone.  I wanted an iPhone two years ago when I bought this Droid.  The Verizon reseller did his best to talk me out of an iPhone, telling me WAY more stuff than I wanted to know why the Droid Bionic was a better phone.

"I understand your reasoning, but it's my money - put an iPhone in a bag, run my credit card, and we can all get on with our day," I said.  It was only then that he told me they didn't have the model iPhone I wanted.  It seems a new iPhone was about to be released.  The Droid I had at the time (23 1/2 months old) was dead... as in: expired... pushing up the daisies... it was an ex-phone... it had gone to that great phone heaven in the sky and all that was left was a hunk of metal, plastic, and glass that wouldn't even turn on.  Dead.

The thing the Droid Bionic had going for it: 4G and it could be used as a hot spot; we could eliminate our Mifi.  Assuming it worked as promised.

I took the Droid at Joan's urging; she said, "If you don't like the Droid, I'll take it and you can get an iPhone."  One month later, she got and iPhone and said, "I don't want your crappy ol' Droid - I have an iPhone, nyah, nyah, nyah!"  Well, that's what I heard.

I kept my Droid.  It worked.  The 4G was wonderful when we were in an area that had 4G coverage.  The battery life was pretty sucky, but the 4G hot spot was WAY better than the 3G Mifi hot spot.  Way.  For the past 23 1/2 months it has been working away.

Since then, the iPhone 4S came out; no 4G.  Then, the iPhone 5, with 4G.  And now, the iPhone 5S, with 4G, fingerprint recognition, a faster processor, and a snow-blower attachment.  Fortunately, I have no need for a snow-blower attachment.

We stopped at a Verizon booth in the mall to ask about phones.  The salesman immediately recommended the newest Android phone over the iPhone.  "You don't have an iPhone, do you?" I asked.

"Umm... no.  But you can do so much more with this SamSingerWTF phone..."

I may have the model wrong, but the song and dance is the same.  We walked down to the nearby Apple Store, which was packed, and when I waited my turn, I asked the guy in the blue shirt about an iPhone.  "Let me get you an iPhone expert," he said.  A girl who looked to be about 14 came over and immediately began her schtick on all the new features of the iPhone 5S.  When she got to the camera, she said, "I am also a professional photographer besides working here..."

I laughed out loud.  Yes, that was rude, but I couldn't help myself.  I didn't tell her what I did before we retired.  As far as crappy phone cameras go, the iPhone 5S is definitely less crappy.  But, it's still a phone camera.  I only use my phone camera when I leave a real camera behind.  Maybe I'm holding a grudge?  Camera phones were one of the final nails in the coffin of professional photography... people don't give actual photos these days, they say, "I took the cutest picture of my cat - here, look at my phone!"  Grandparents don't carry little photo albums of their grandkids, they show their phones.  The images look like crap, but people are willing to accept that.  I would hate to be in the professional photography business these days, when everyone with a phone can steal your images.

And, I guess anyone with a phone can be... a professional photographer.

Oh, and the Apple Store didn't have the model iPhone I wanted in stock, either... hang in there, Droid!!