On the roof...

It's an old joke (I'm an old guy)...

A guy went on vacation and asked his brother to watch his cat while he was gone.  The second day on vacation, the guy called his brother and asked, "How's the cat?"

The brother said, "Your cat is dead."

The guy ranted and raved, "How could you tell me news like that so bluntly?  This ruins my vacation!  I can't believe you would tell me like that..."

The brother finally asked, "How should I have told you?"

The guy said, "You could have told me, 'The cat is on the roof.  We're doing our best to coax her down.'  Then when I called a couple days later, you could have said, 'Well, the cat fell when she was coming down from the roof.  She's at the vet's office right now.'  Then, when I called a couple days later, you could have said, 'The cat is not doing well.  She seems to be in a lot of pain; I think we're going to have to do the merciful thing.'  I would have been sad, but I would have had my whole week's vacation,  and I would have had some involvement in the decision."

The brother said, "I'm sorry; I understand."

The guy said, "Well, let's let it go.  By the way, how's Mom?"

The brother said, "Umm... Mom's on the roof."

(rimshot)

This morning, I had to go up on the roof to put roofing ashpalt around all the vents; the sun here is hard on that stuff.  I really don't like going up on the roof.  Well, going up there isn't so bad, it's having to step off the roof and around onto the ladder to get down that makes my ass pucker.  Joan is helpful and encouraging - she makes sure I don't forget anything I'll need up there.  She helps get the ladder positioned, and she holds the ladder as I go up and down.  And when I'm ready to come back down and have to psyche myself up to step off the roof and around onto the ladder, she said, "Take your time - you can do it."

"Just don't say anything!  When you say that, I hear: 'Sure hope you don't fall on your head!' "

I got the work done and made it down.  I didn't want my kid to call and hear Joan say, "Your Dad's on the roof."

;-)