Who wants to be a secret agent, anyway...

In the "lounge" part of my favorite guitar forum, the discussion of the new James Bond movie came up...

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All the Bonds will be judged against the original... Sean Connery defined the role.  Interesting that the film franchise has been able to have those different actors and continue to do well... the actors or the cool gadgets, neat cars, Bond girls, and the music?

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For full disclosure, I have a connection with James Bond and guitar playing.  I was 10 years old when I saw the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, and wanted a guitar in the worst way.  My father died when I was young, and had been a guitar player amongst many other things.  My mother felt guitar playing led to bars, drinking, and other unsavory things, and would not allow me to have a guitar, even if I bought it with my own (lawn-mowing) money.

We were poor, but that Christmas, she went all out with her Sears credit and bought me a James Bond slot car racing set.  It wasn't the usual figure-8 track, but had 4 big pieces that connected together, with a "mountain" in the middle.  It was, perhaps, the coolest thing I had ever seen!  Even included an Aston Martin!  I pulled it out of the box, put it together... and it didn't work.     It was a long Christmas Day... that James Bond slot car set and some underwear... and, really, who wants underwear for Christmas?

I was pretty sure I wanted to be a secret agent when I grew up.

We took the James Bond slot car set back to Sears on the 26th and exchanged it.  I opened the new box, put it together... and it worked!  For three days.  My mother was working, so I boxed it back up and took it back to Sears.  Their toy department was GONE!  Seriously, all those toys moved out in a matter of a couple days.  The lady at the returns desk was nice, told me that most of those James Bond slot car sets had been returned... and then said, "Without the receipt, she could give me 'store credit'."  I walked away from there with a piece of paper in my hand.  That piece of paper was even less fun than underwear! 

What to do?  The toys were gone, but they still had sporting goods.  On my way to that department, I walked past their music department.  Ohhhhh... a guitar!  My heart started racing.  If I bought a guitar, would I be allowed back in the house??  Who wants to be a secret agent when you could be the next Beatle??  The James Bond slot car set exchange wouldn't allow enough to afford an electric guitar.  More heartbreak!  It would, however, be just enough for that "old-fashioned looking" acoustic guitar.  OK, I was pretty sure I needed an electric guitar to be a Beatle, but this was better than underwear, a piece of paper with 'store credit', or a crappy ol' non-functional James Bond slot car set.

I walked home with the guitar in the cardboard box and awaited the wrath of my mother.  Yep... "I told you there would be NO GUITARS IN THIS HOUSE! ..."  I'm pretty sure she said a bunch of other stuff that I didn't hear.  I was already figuring out where I was going to live while I learned to play my new guitar so I could become the next Beatle.  Maybe I could make enough money playing guitar to buy some Beatle Boots?  I'm certainly going to have to let my hair grow... it's hard to have bangs when you have curly hair... "What did you say, Mom??"

"If you can get the neighbor to give you some lessons, you can keep the guitar.  BUT, if you don't play it, I will sell it!"

Acceptance!  Not out-right encouragement, but at least I wasn't going to have to live on the street at the ripe old age of 11.  I played the guitar.  Like the song: until my fingers bled.  A neighbor taught me how to tune the guitar, that's the only lesson I've ever had.

Then, a friend of mine got a set of drums.  We were going to form our own band... if I couldn't be a Beatle, I could be the "next big thing."  You don't really hear an acoustic guitar much over a set of drums.  Another friend brought a home-made bass guitar for $4 and borrowed an amp.  You could hear the drums and the bass... now you really couldn't hear the acoustic guitar.  My friends talked about inviting another guy who owned an electric guitar and an amp to join the band... my dreams of being a Beatle or the next big thing were dissolving.

My mother could see that I was serious about "this guitar stuff," so she took me to Bellas-Hess and helped me pay for a Recco electric guitar with a Paris amp!  I sold the Sears acoustic for $15.  The Recco had even worse action than the Sears acoustic, but it was electric.  I was in the band!

And I'm pretty sure that being a secret agent is way over-rated.