Sleep didn't come easy last night. I woke up just before 4:00 and Rufus wasn't down at the foot of the bed. Out in the living room, he was on the couch. You can see it in his handsome face: our sweet boy is tuckered out; his breathing is labored. We sat together in his new "big chair."
I feel bad that we can't do our usual morning routine with his feeding... the big boy loves the routine... me, too.
We'll be back to the vet this morning. I dread what's coming... we just want to hold him and tell him everything is going to be OK. We have to put our trust in this new vet in our new hometown that they can make him comfortable.
There is more stuff to be dealt with on the house this morning - someone from the door company is supposed to be coming, along with our builder rep. The landscaper told me he'd get the gate hung. Steph is going to work from home this morning so she can be here to deal with this, so Joan and I can be with Rufus at the vet's office.
You can see by the look on his face that he doesn't understand why there is no food for him this morning. He went to the door and waited for me to put his harness and leash on - he knows there is always a treat at the end of a walk. Our walk was short this morning, and it hurt my heart that there was no treat for him when we came back inside. The vet told us "No food after 10:00 last night." Ruf and I communicate pretty well, but he doesn't get this.
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We took Rufus to the vet just before our 8:30 appointment. They gave us something to give him an hour before that to keep him calm. Rufus is a pretty chill boy. The vet came out, explained again what would be going on, then took him away. Rather than wait in their lobby, we chose to come back home, about 10 minutes away.
They are going to shave a patch of fur on each side so they can tap the lungs to draw as much fluid as possible. They'll be analyzing that fluid to give them some idea of what is causing that. Then they'll do an ultrasound on his abdomen, and, if possible (access), do a needle biopsy on the mass in his belly.
I thought I was cried out last night, but I found tears streaming down my face when they took him away. And now, we wait.
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We got a call a little after 10:00. The vet gave us the news: she drained fluid off his lungs and the ultrasound showed that the mass is inoperable. We are at the end of life for our big furry boy. We brought him home... he is a little groggy, but he was ready to eat. It may be days, maybe weeks. Once the fluid comes back on his lungs, or he is unable to eat/drink/poop/pee, it will be time. He will let us know. We will not let our boy suffer. Our hearts are broken, but we will do all we can to make whatever time he has left a good environment for him. We always shower him with love; tell him how handsome he is; and, of course, tell him what a good boy he is. I'm guessing we'll be watching over him a bit more than usual.
For now, we'll let him sleep. It's been a tough day for everyone.
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6 comments:
Our hearts are breaking for you too. I can barely type this for the tears streaming down. It always hurts so much to lose a furry buddy, especially such a *Good Boy*. Keep him comfortable and give him lots of love, plus extra pets for us. Then do the right (and hardest) thing for him. Condolences is such an inadequate word...
Thank you, Earl. We have had to do that last act of kindness before - it is truly hard. But, we promise to take care of and provide for these furry family members. He will let us know when it is time. I don't know how much time we have, but he will be surrounded with love. I appreciate your friendship and kind words. Rufus is such a good boy.
Jim, I feel your pain. Our 14 year old Poodle/Bischon mix Charley is in a very similar place. Kidney issues. He probably has a week or so. We have had several other pets go over the rainbow bridge. Its gut wrenching every time. Kathy and I will be praying for you and Joan.
Jim and Joan, I haven't read your blog for a couple of days and opened it today to find out your latest on your new home and now this. I can't hardly believe it...my heart is breaking for you two. I've loved reading and getting to know Rufus through your posts and he is such a Good Boy. Our furry kid, Sunshine, is much like Rufus, a spreader of love to all. My thoughts are with you two as you cherish your Good Boy.
Patrick Walker from C-Brats
Thank you, Patrick, for the kind words. It was always a pleasure to visit with you and Kim and Sunshine on the docks at Friday Harbor. I am cherishing the heck out of this Good Boy.
Thank you, John and Kathy. I am sorry to hear about Charley... our sincere condolences. Even when we have the chance for a "long good-bye," it just isn't enough time. I wish peace for you three.
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