100 years...

 

My Mother passed away in 2011, just a few weeks after her 90th birthday.  Today would have been her 100th birthday.

Before her birthday, I asked what she wanted to do to celebrate.  She told me that she had never had an actual birthday party... I said, "I did not know that - looks like we'll be having a party!"

She said, "What if nobody comes?"  I assured her that wasn't going to be the case.  She still had doubts about the whole party thing.

I told her, "Here's the deal: your nieces and nephews are going to do something for you; it may not be what you want.  How 'bout you and I plan something so you can have it the way you want?"  She agreed. 

When the date came, we had rented a party room, and over 100 people showed up.  She got to be "the belle of the ball," and I know she truly enjoyed it.  It was a nice celebration.  Just a few weeks later, she had a stroke, lingered for 9 days, then died.

I was able to be there with her before and during the party, went home a couple days later, then flew back as soon as I was told about the stroke.  Joan and I were there with her when she took her last breath.

I think of all she experienced in this world during her lifetime: the Great Depression, World War II, the advent of television, accessible travel by airlines, space travel, the internet (although she never partook).  Before her birthday, I showed her how to read a book (happened to be the one I wrote) on an iPad... she asked, "Will it ever be a real book?"  ;-)  On her birthday, I gave her the first paperback of that real book.

She was born during "the notch years," when Social Security was first set up, there were three years where those born in those years didn't get the full benefit of SS.  She always thought "Social Security will take care of me when I retire..."; it didn't even cover the rent on her apartment.

Speaking of that apartment, she saw the neighborhood where she lived for 51 years go downhill.  When I say "downhill," the neighbor across the alley from her was a drug dealer.  I'm not casting aspersions - he went to jail for it.  I had a discussion with him, where I let him know if any of his "customers" ever hurt or stole from my Mother, I would take it out on him... he assured me, "We all look out for Miss Nellie.  I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

She had a gentleman friend who came for supper almost every night, then would leave after they watched the 10:00 news.  When he passed, I knew it was time to get her out of that neighborhood.  My sister Joan and I found her a nice apartment in a good neighborhood... it took the threat of "no more financial support" to get her to agree to the move.  Once moved in, she loved it.  Her apartment had two bedrooms, a fireplace, and a garage... with a garage door opener; she was thrilled about that.  The apartment was fairly close to where my sister (Joan) and brother-in-law (John) lived.  It was a great arrangement.  A heart-breaking day when my sister passed 5 years before Mom.

She lived independently in that apartment, even drove her car the day before she had the stroke.  From time to time, I worried about her being lonely, but she had visitors (friends, nieces and nephews) who visited regularly.  I wouldn't call her "worldly," but she lived a good life.

From her 90th birthday party...