Is Kevin there?

 

Most of the time, we don't answer calls from numbers we don't recognize.  Back in the good ol' days, the spammers didn't call cell phone numbers.  Really?  Damn, Jim, how old are you?  Really old, thanks for asking.

With our "situations" with the motorhome, replacing cars, the Vespa vs deer incident, and the occasional medical dealings, we turned off the "block unknown callers" feature on our phones.  Oh, the phone still warns me occasionally of "potential spam" call.  Still, we let most of those calls go to voice mail, then block the number.  Yes, we are aware that the spammers use spoof numbers for Caller ID, but it just feels good to block the number.

I've tried different ways of dealing with what I expect to be a spam call.  I've tried saying, "just a moment," then putting my phone down 'till they hang up; wasting their time.  I've tried, "Please remove me from your solicitation list," but you know they don't.  I quite enjoyed answer the phone a time or two with: "FBI Field Office, Phone Fraud Division."  They hang up real quick.  I've used the, "This is the caller, officer, that has been making obscene calls to us - trace, trace, trace!"

Today, I took one of those calls.  A very pleasant female voice on the other end said, "I'm sorry for the delay, is Kevin there?"  "Sorry for the delay" just means they have a robo-caller trying a bunch of numbers at once, and the person switches to that line when they get someone who answers.  And for some reason, someone at the University of Spam decided that "Kevin" is a non-descript name that won't put you on edge.  If you say, "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number," they will come back with: "Oh, sorry - as long as I have you on the phone..."

Same bullshit, different approach.  This morning, when she asked for Kevin, I gasped and said, "Kevin's dead!  Is this your idea of a sick joke?"  She gasped, stammered, then apologized.  I said, "Don't call again."

Am I sick and twisted?  Yeah, probably.  Do I care?  No, not a bit.  It is rare that you are able to get a live person on the phone when calling for Customer Service for any product, so why do people have to stoop low enough to making unsolicited spam calls?

Don't tell my Mother that I'm a robocall operator - she thinks I am a piano player in a whorehouse.  That's a joke.  I don't play piano that well.  Oh, and Mom's dead.

She would appreciate that joke.  I got my sarcastic sense of humor from her.