Disgusting...

 

Me?  Yes.  Well, parts of me.

Last week, while soaking in the tub, I dipped my head under to wet my hair and came up with a blocked ear.  Normally I can do a Valsava maneuver (hold your nose and blow) and clear my ears at any time (you use that maneuver when flying or scuba diving, from my younger years).  It didn't work this time.

Joan looked in my ear and declared it "clean."  I tried some drops to clear up water in the ear, aka "swimmer's ear."  The ear would pop, but plug back up again in seconds.  I stood in the shower for a lengthy time and let warm water flush in my ear... it didn't make it worse, but it didn't make it any better.

Today, I was tired of saying, "I'm sorry, could you say that again," when Joan was on my left side.  Tired of not hearing music or podcasts in that ear.  While out on my motorcycle, I swung by the local clinic here in town... the parking lot was packed.

I kept going, and enjoyed some time on my motorcycle.  On my way back home, I swung by the clinic again and there was only two other cars in the parking lot.  I swung in, took off my helmet, and went inside.  Nobody waiting.  I checked in with the receptionist, filled out the usual paperwork, and sat... didn't have to wait long.  The nurse took me into an exam room, took my blood pressure, asked a few questions, and said, "The nurse practitioner will be in shortly."  And, she was.

This is all very different from the doctor's office where I usually go since my doctor there retired a year ago.  The new guy is - and I don't want to get over anyone's head with this medical jargon - an asshole.  He and I don't click.  Because, he is an asshole.  This doctor's office visit was almost delightful.

When the nurse practitioner looked in my ears, she said, "It is impacted."  For those not familiar: ear wax has closed off the ear canal.  Completely.  Like wearing molded ear plugs.  I told her that my wife had looked in my ears and said they were clean.  She said, "Does your wife have one of these?" holding up the lighted thingy they use to look in your ears.

"No."

"I'm not a dirty person, honest."

She said, "Your ears are very clean.  Some people just produce more ear wax than other.  It isn't a matter of being clean or dirty.  When you put your head under the hot water, it probably pushed the ear wax in there enough to block it.  We'll flush that, and you will be fine."

I was moderately disgusted that I can't clean my ears good enough on my own, but relieved that it wasn't anything more serious.  She sent in the nurse who asked, "Have you ever had this done before?"

"No, ma'am."

She had me hold a cup-shaped thing below my ears and used to plunger to push warm water into my ear... I was thinking "Isn't that how I got here in the first place?"  There was a gush, a pop, more flushing, and I could hear again.  Relief.

She asked, "Do you want to see what I flushed out of there?"  Of course I did... yep, that was disgusting.  She said, "Put two drops of hydrogen-peroxide in your ears once a week, and you won't have this issue again."

I remember my Mother used to go to the doctor regularly (she loved doctor visits) to have this done.  I also remember thinking, "You can't keep your own ears clean??"

No, I didn't take any photos.  Sure feels good to hear out of that ear again.

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On that "limbo" situation: we go to the title company office tomorrow to sign the paperwork for our part of the closing.  Another step in this new journey.