Farting...

 

If you think this is going to be some expose' about me passing gas, you don't really know me.  I almost never pass gas, and when I do, it doesn't stink.  OK, here's the deal: everyone farts.  When Stephanie was little, she was aghast when I told her, "Even Nancy Regan farts.  The Queen of England farts.  Everyone farts."

In my misspent youth, I was in a band - 9 guys traveling around in a bus.  Farting was a competitive sport.  We had a rule, that anyone driving the bus at night had to have a spotter, making sure the driver stayed awake.  We all took turns.  On regular occasions, the inside of the bus would light up when someone in back lit a fart.  Yes, with a match.  Until those band days, I was not aware that this was a thing.  Probably more information than you needed.

What brought on this fart talk?  Thank you for asking.  On one of the scooter forums where I spend way too much time, this question came up: "Does your HPE Vespa make farting noises after you turn it off?"  I thought it was some kind of joke... really, my Vespa does not fart.  I have owned it for almost 6 months now, and she has been a perfect lady.

My routine is to put her away in the cargo trailer after each ride.  Once I got back in the house, I realized I forgot to take the keys out of the ignition (I used to leave the keys in my previous Vespa all the time).  I went out to the side door of the trailer, opened it up, and.... pfffffffffffffffffttt.  Apparently this lovely blue Italian has waited for me to get inside before relieving herself of any pent-up "pressure."  Surprise!

Kinda reminds me of the time we saw the Queen of England, and she said, "Jim, pull my royal finger."