Seat of the pants...

 

Alternative title for this post: To get to the point.

It's been just over 4 months since my prostate went missing.  Most things are back to normal.  The one thing causing consternation: my morning bicycle ride.  I enjoy getting out, and it is good exercise.  The downside of it is down under the seat of my pants... yeah, the bicycle seat.  Prior to the surgery, I could feel it down under.  Since the surgery, I really feel it down under.

Warning: there will be some reporting of side effects of prostate surgery coming up next, so if you don't want to see that, here's photo of Rufus...

Now, skip to tomorrow's post.  If you didn't skip, that isn't on me.  The seat on my e-bike has been great for me for the past 5 years.  Since the surgery, it hurts.  I didn't realize how much it hurts until Joan bought me the "no horn" seat for the e-scooter.  That seat is a bit small for my assular area (medical term), but my taint doesn't hurt.  "Taint"?  OK, I warned you.  It's that area between the anus and the genitals.  As in: it isn't ass and it taint gonads.  And, when that area hurts, you notice.  Even more disturbing, after the good workout of a bike ride, I am glad I am wearing my big boy pull up training pants.  Leakage.  As in: I'm so excited I wet myself.  Other than after a bike ride (or a big sneeze, cough, or the strain of lifting something heavy), my bladder control is pretty good.  "Pretty good" is another medical term that isn't quite as good as "good."

This morning, I thought I'd try swapping seats between my bicycle and the e-scoot.  They use different connections for the mount to the seat post, so I thought I'd just swap the entire posts to try it out.  Nope - not the same diameter.  The little e-scoot is a bigger diameter than my bicycle.  The temperature was 72º with 97% humidity, so I didn't feel like standing out in the thick air to make further adjustments.  I popped the seat post off the bike and brought it inside - it adjusts with an allen wrench.  Well, it's supposed to adjust with an allen wrench, but all the grunting and pulling on it wouldn't budge it.  A little penetrating oil (Joan's solution) and a small hammer (my solution) applied to the allen wrench got it to move.

My thinking: I'll adjust the angle of the seat to point the horn on it down a bit.  Out to the bike and a trial run... nope, that wasn't enough and the horn of the seat is still poking the taint.  Off the bike (in some shade) for a more drastic adjustment - no poke, but my ass wants to slide forward right off the seat.  Two more enroute adjustments convinced me that the balance between poking and sliding off doesn't exist.  I went for more towards the sliding off side than the poking side.

Taint didn't hurt, the drippage didn't drip... but now my shoulders are screaming.  So, that's fun.  I was pretty well sweated up by the time I got back, so further experimenting will have to wait for another time.  Joan thinks a new seat may be the answer.  I said, "I have bike seats coming out my ass," which is pretty much the opposite of this situation.  I do, however, have a couple other different shape bike seats that I will try.  And, then we'll order another one.

Maybe I should have gone with "pain in the ass" as the title?  ;-)

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When I got out of the shower, Joan had the seat from my bicycle and two other seats to try out, on the island in the kitchen... so, I guess we're doing this now.  Each seat is a different style, with a different mounting (and shape).  First up is the seat that came on the new e-scooter... it was plenty comfortable on the e-scoot, but Joan bought the other one (with no horn), so I figured I'd better switch them out.  The "horn" part of the seat (what I call the front, pointy part) is shorter and less pointy than the original bike seat, so it may work.  Not going to know until tomorrow, 'cause I just got out of the shower and want to go for at least a short time without being a sweathog.  I did put the seat/post back on the bike, and it was pointing up, as in: right at my taint.  I took a few minutes to adjust it so it may be close to the right angle... we'll know more tomorrow.